A few months ago, I wrote a small text to say that I was in the process of writing my thesis. How did that go? Actually, the writing process remained enjoyable from beginning to end. I surprisingly loved writing the theoretical background of the thesis, which was the part that scared me the most. It turns out that writing this piece helped me take a step back on the work I have made in the past 3 years, rediscover papers that I now understand better, and most importantly, build bridges between fields that appear very remote at first sight. I also enjoyed writing the discussions: “what should I do next?” was the main question, and there are so many interesting directions to explore.
However, after finishing my first draft on March 31st, I did not feel the relief that I was expecting, the deliverance of being done I was promised, or the sense of achievement. I mainly felt a void, incessant “what now?” inquisition, with a paradoxically dooming demotivation. Of course, this was also the perfect season for personal hardships, administrative hurdles, and existential questionning.
So what now? Well, the administrative struggles seem out of the way, allowing me to defend on July 3rd (more on that later), I took some time to rest (interesting how getting a full night of sleep after months solves most of your issues!), and started a long journey of self-improvement: improving my self-esteem and assertiveness, learning how to say no, accepting that my achievements and mainly my failures do not define me…issues that seem very wide-spread in academia and research.
I learned mainly that for now, there is no place I’d rather be than research.
So yeah, on Monday, July 3rd, from 9AM CEST, I will be defending my thesis, hence celebrating my “academic wedding”. Info about the event can be found online with a bit of stalking ;) but don’t heasitate to reach out if you want to attend and have a glass of champagne with me, hopefully under the sun of the green parisian suburbs!